Finding a Family
by jonsmom14
Summary: The fight between Trey and Ryan ends very differently
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I know, I'm starting a new fic when there are unfinished ones waiting to be written. I got bit really hard by my muse, and I've actually finished this already. I'll be posting a little each day.

Chapter 1

_BANG! BANG! BANG!_

Ryan should have been shocked when the door flew open and he was face to face with a gun. However, he was so angry at the accusation made against his brother, that he discounted it for the moment.

"Did you do it?"

Trey tightened his jaw. "Get out of here Ry."

"Did you attack her?" Ryan demanded again, ignoring the warning.

"I'm warning you Ry." Trey continued.

"Did you try to rape Marissa?" Ryan yelled. He paused as Trey's eyes flickered. He knew at that moment that it was true. "How could you Trey? After what we've both been through, how could you try to do that to someone else – especially my girlfriend!"

"Sir, the suspect is armed. That's a direct violation of his probation. Shouldn't we apprehend?" Officer Michael Grayson asked Detective Monroe. The two members of the Newport Police Department were sitting in an unmarked car outside the apartment. They had received an anonymous tip that Trey Atwood was dealing drugs in the area. After a quick warrant, listening devices were placed throughout the small apartment. They were also watching the situation through a telephoto lens. What had formerly been a boring stakeout had suddenly become very interesting.

"Let's wait and see what else we can get first." Rick Monroe ordered.

"The suspect is pointing a gun at a kid." Michael pointed out.

"A kid that obviously knows him," Rick scoffed. "The kid could be an accomplice."

With that, the two police officers settled back to listen.

"What's wrong with you Trey? You just got out of jail! Now you're waving a gun in my face? Did you want to go back? I supported you when you got an apartment and then when you got the job at the Bait Shop. You have a chance at a decent life now Trey. Why would you jeopardize that by doing stuff like this?" Ryan exclaimed.

"I'm a stock boy at a kids bar while you're living in a damn pool house! You've got a brand new rich family now – the perfect mom and dad and brand spanking new brother! So don't come to me with your fancy clothes and your damn private school education and tell me how good I have it!" Trey exclaimed.

"You couldn't be more wrong! I'm not a member of their family! I'm Sandy's way of getting over his guilt at living in a fucking mansion. If he took in the poor abandoned delinquent then he's still not like those other Newpsies who only care about themselves. I'm just Seth's playmate who he wants around when he doesn't have any other friends to hang out with or to help him in his latest girl crisis. And Kirsten, she informed me today that she let me into her house. Does that sound like they give a damn about me to you?"

Ryan took a deep breath. "I live in the pool house – not the house. I'm still in the same place that I was when I first got there and was only supposed to stay for the weekend before I went into foster care. When you first got out and stayed with them, where did you stay? That's right, the pool house. As soon as you were gone, I went right back out there. I'm not even allowed a room in the main house!"

"Then why don't you grab a few of those expensive items in the house and get yourself a new life?" Trey sneered.

"Because I don't want to spend my life looking over my shoulder. I may not be a member of the Cohen family, but I'm not going to turn my back on the opportunity to improve my future. I'm a year away from graduating from high school. I have been working every summer and saving every penny so that when I turn eighteen I can afford a few months rent and maybe even sign up for some night classes."

"You still want to be an architect?" Trey scoffed.

"Of course I know that won't happen, but I do have a chance to make a decent living and not be back out on the street. The Cohens have given me a chance to make something of myself and I'm going to take it. I might become a contractor or something. Either way, I won't starve or I won't be on the streets. Who knows, I might even manage a college degree someday." Ryan shrugged.

"Mom always said you were the smart one. She always liked you best." Trey said softly, his eyes narrowing in rage.

"You have a chance now too, Trey. You can save some money and go back to school." Ryan urged.

"What about your precious girlfriend?" Trey sneered.

Ryan glared as he was reminded of his reason for being there. "Stay away from Marissa." He stated softly.

"So you do love her." Trey's eyes widened in surprise.

"Of course not. I did, before I figured out that I'm only convenient until some other guy comes along. She proved to me last year when she believed the rich kid that she just met over me. I'll never be anything but the delinquent bad boy in her eyes." Ryan scoffed.

"Then why are you with her?" Trey demanded.

"Because her mother came to me and asked me to get her back so that she wouldn't ruin her life with the girl she was dating. Marissa had been skipping school and getting in trouble." Ryan shrugged.

"And you just do whatever her mom asks?"

"Julie is friends with Kirsten and Sandy. I owe them, and I'm not about to do anything that's going to get me kicked out. Telling Julie 'no' would have made her come after me next. She wouldn't have stopped until I was gone. Besides, Seth likes it when he's with Summer and I'm with Marissa. I told you, I'm not giving up my chance at a real life." Ryan informed him. "But even though I'm only with Marissa because of obligation, she still didn't deserve to be attacked like that. Damn it Trey, we both understand how that feels. Why would you do that to someone else?"

"I was drunk." Trey shrugged.

"You bastard." Ryan whispered.

"Actually, technically, you're the bastard – not me." Trey chuckled.

Ryan stared at his brother in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"Why do you think you're so much smarter than me? Hell, you're smarter than any of the Atwoods – including Dawn." Trey sneered. "You're not Frank Atwood's kid. You should change your name to Ryan Johnson because that's what you are: a John's son. Dawn was pimping herself out to make some extra drug money and accidently got pregnant. She couldn't afford an abortion, and by the time she had you she wanted to keep you. Why do you think Frank always beat you a little harder and more often? You were a reminder that his wife was a prostitute!"

Ryan felt his world tilt slightly as his brother explained his parentage. "No." Ryan whispered.

"Oh yes. So I'm not really the bastard here, you are. I can't let you tell anyone that I was the one to attack Marissa. You were right about one thing. I'm not going back to prison." Trey declared, leveling the gun at Ryan's chest. "So I'll just be shooting the half of you that's not my brother."

Ryan heard the explosion and felt something slug him in the chest. Pain exploded and then everything went dark.

"Damn it! All officers move in and apprehend the suspect! I repeat all officers move in! Dispatch, call an ambulance for our position. We have a civilian with a GSW!" Detective Monroe shouted his orders to the waiting police officers who had been poised to arrest Trey Atwood since he had opened his door with a gun drawn.

Michael swore harshly and pulled his own weapon as he opened the driver's door and hurried towards the bottom of the short staircase that led up to the door of the apartment. He glanced up at Trey Atwood, who was even now on the ground at the top of the stairs with a couple of officers handcuffing him. Knowing that the suspect was out of the picture, Michael turned his attention to the teenager at his feet.

Blood was pouring from a wound in his chest and staining the pavement beneath him. Harsh breathing was the only sign of life. Michael pulled off his uniform shirt and wadded it up to place pressure on the wound. He wasn't about to let this kid who he'd just heard say he was just trying to live a decent life die because he had a shitty brother.

It seemed like forever before the paramedics showed up to take over. Michael stood in the parking lot and watched the lights of the ambulance disappear into the darkness. He stood there in his white undershirt holding his blood-soaked uniform as Trey Atwood was loaded into a squad car and driven away. He stood there until Detective Monroe came over to him and led him to their car so that they would be able to contact Ryan Atwood's foster parents and inform them that he had been shot by his own brother.

Sandy had just walked in the door after dropping off his wife at rehab. He tossed his keys onto the foyer table and walked into the kitchen to get a bottle of water. This had been the hardest day in his life. Kirsten was his world, and the thought that she was so sick was devastating. Sandy glanced through the kitchen window and saw that the lights were off in the pool house. The Rover had been gone when he got home, so he assumed that Seth and Ryan had gone off somewhere with their girlfriends. Taking another sip of his water, Sandy started towards his bedroom when the phone rang.

"Cohen residence." Sandy answered.

"_May I speak with Sandy Cohen_?" A male voice asked.

"This is he." Sandy replied.

"_My name is Richard Monroe. I'm a detective with the Newport Police Department. Are you the guardian of a Ryan Atwood_?"

Sandy felt his heart skip a beat. "Yes, is there a problem?"

"I'm _sorry to inform you that your son was shot by his brother this evening._" Detective Monroe declared.

"Seth would never hurt Ryan." Sandy protested automatically.

Rick fought a smile. That statement had been very telling. "_Ryan was shot by Trey Atwood this evening at Trey Atwood's apartment._"

"Oh my God. What hospital is he going to?" Sandy demanded, tossing the bottle to the floor and running through the house to grab his keys.

"He _has been rushed to HOAG. I will meet you there at the emergency entrance_." Detective Monroe informed him.

"Thank you. I'll be right there." Sandy hurriedly answered before tossing the phone on the foyer table and snatching up his keys instead. Moments later he was rushing to the hospital and his injured son.

"He's not answering his cell." Seth announced as he ended his attempt to call his brother. "Do you think he would go to Trey's?"

Summer snorted. "He just found out that his brother attacked his girlfriend. What do you think he would do, Cohen?"

Seth sighed and ran a hand down his face. "I shouldn't have told him." The teen groaned.

"Chino needed to know that his brother is a rapist." Summer declared as she turned the car towards the apartment complex that Trey Atwood was currently living at.

"What a mess." Seth muttered.

Just then Seth's phone rang.

"Ryan?" Seth almost shouted into the phone.

"_Seth, where are you?_"

"Dad? Summer and I are trying to find Ryan. We were going to try Trey's." Seth explained.

"_Stay away from there! Trey shot Ryan. He's on his way to HOAG. I just got a call from the police. Meet me at the emergency entrance. Then you two can tell me what the hell is going on!_" Sandy ordered.

"We'll be there." Seth breathed. He ended the call and worked hard to control his breathing. Ryan had been shot.

"Cohen? What did your dad say?" Summer demanded.

"We have to go to HOAG. Trey shot Ryan." Seth muttered softly.

Summer almost wrecked. "WHAT?"

Seth rubbed his face and when he turned to face his girlfriend his eyes were filled with tears. "This is all my fault! I shouldn't have told Ryan about any of this. Then Ryan would be home and safe instead of in the hospital possibly dying."

"Now we don't know how bad it is yet Seth. Just stay calm." Summer soothed. She pressed her foot harder and the BMW shot through the dark towards HOAG.

Detective Monroe was standing in the entrance to the emergency room when a harried man came running in the doors.

"Sandy Cohen?"

The man stopped and tried to catch his breath. "I'm Sandy Cohen. Detective Monroe I presume?"

The detective nodded. "The doctors haven't come back out since Ryan arrived. I've been keeping tabs."

"Thank you. Can you tell me what happened?" Sandy asked anxiously.

Rick was further convinced that Ryan Atwood had no idea how his foster family truly felt about him. This was not a man who was going through the motions. Sandy Cohen genuinely cared about the boy. "We received an anonymous tip that Trey Atwood was trafficking drugs. We got a warrant and set up surveillance – including listening devices inside and outside of the apartment. At approximately 7:00 pm, Ryan knocked on Trey's door. He was very angry. It seemed that Trey had attempted to rape Ryan's girlfriend. I believe he said her name was Marissa?"

Sandy swore under his breath and nodded.

"Trey answered the door with a gun pulled. He pointed it at Ryan. The two argued back and forth. Then, without warning, Trey shot Ryan in the chest. My men got to him immediately and he was brought into the hospital." Rick explained. "Normally we wouldn't allow it, but for Ryan's sake I think you need to hear the recording."

Sandy nodded his agreement, but his mind was on his son lying somewhere in this hospital with a hole in his chest. It would occur to him later to question why the police didn't arrest Trey immediately when he pulled the gun.

A commotion at the entrance drew both of the men's attention. Seth and Summer were running into the building.

"Dad! How's Ryan?" Seth exclaimed when he saw his father.

"We don't know yet." Sandy informed him.

Tears were streaking down Seth's cheeks. "I shouldn't have told him that Trey attacked Marissa!"

Sandy pulled his son into his arms. "This isn't your fault Seth. You had no way of knowing that Trey would hurt Ryan. None of us did. I would have forbidden Ryan to go near him if I had known. Ryan needs us now, so no more 'what ifs'."

Seth nodded into his father's shoulder and sniffled. He lifted his head and noticed the detective.

"Seth, Summer this is Detective Monroe. He was at the scene." Sandy introduced.

No sooner had Sandy spoken than a harried doctor came hurrying into the waiting room. "Family of Ryan Atwood?"

Sandy and Seth rushed forward with the detective and Summer right behind them.

"I'm Ryan's father." Sandy identified himself. "This is his brother, Seth."

"I'm Dr. Mitchell. I was the attending when Ryan was brought in. He had a gunshot wound to the chest. We were able to stabilize him. He has been rushed up to emergency surgery. It's going to be a few hours before you'll be able to see him I'm afraid. Even after surgery, I look for him to be in ICU and visitation will be limited. I would recommend going home and getting some rest for a couple of hours. It will be closer to midnight before you'll see him." The doctor informed them.

Sandy sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair. "I don't want to leave him."

"Actually, I think that you need to hear what actually happened tonight before you see Ryan again. It's very enlightening." Detective Monroe urged.

Sandy looked at the other man warily before nodding.

Dr. Mitchell smiled. "When you return, ask information for directions to the surgical waiting room. I'll inform the surgeon and nurses that you'll return in a couple of hours."

"Thank you doctor." Sandy said softly before draping his arm over his son's shoulders and letting the detective lead them out of the building.

TBC…


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Detective Monroe waited for Sandy and the two teens on the steps in front of the police station. At first, Summer was going to be heading home, but instead Rick had informed her that he needed her statement concerning the attack on Marissa. Summer's father, Neil, was also on his way to the station since Summer was a minor. Rick had also instructed one of his officers to contact Julie Cooper-Nichol, Marissa's mother so that she could bring her daughter in to make a statement concerning her attempted rape. From what Charlie had said after talking to the woman, Trey Atwood was in a shitload of trouble. Mrs. Cooper-Nichol had been furious that her daughter had been attacked and even now was on her way to the station with the teenage girl to make a statement and press charges.

A worn looking Sandy Cohen walked up the steps with his son and Summer Roberts right behind him. Rick held the door open for them and led them all to a small conference room.

"First of all I need to get Seth's statement concerning his knowledge of Marissa's attack." Rick began. He turned his attention to Summer. "I'm sorry Miss Roberts, but you can't be in the room."

"That's okay, I'll just sit in one of those chairs outside." Summer volunteered.

"Thank you." Rick smiled.

After Summer left the room, Rick pulled out a small recorder and proceeded to ask Seth questions about how he found out about the attack and what he knew. It only took a few minutes before Rick had drained the teen of all his information – which wasn't much. It was mostly hearsay.

"Before I invite Summer back into the room, I wasn't sure if you wanted her to hear what was said between Ryan and Trey." Rick declared, turning off the recorder.

Sandy and Seth shared a look. "I'll probably just tell her anyway." Seth shrugged.

"Alright, if you think so." Sandy agreed.

A second later, Summer came back into the room. Once she was settled, Rick pulled out another digital recorder. "I'm going to start this where Ryan arrived." Rick informed them as he pressed the play button.

The trio listened as Ryan demanded to know if Trey attacked his girlfriend. No one missed Ryan's statement about their experience with that type of attack and felt sick at the knowledge. Then they came to the part about the Cohens.

"_You couldn't be more wrong! I'm not a member of their family! I'm Sandy's way of getting over his guilt at living in a fucking mansion. If he took in the poor abandoned delinquent then he's still not like those other Newpsies who only care about themselves. I'm just Seth's playmate who he wants around when he doesn't have any other friends to hang out with or to help him in his latest girl crisis. And Kirsten, she informed me today that she let me into her house. Does that sound like they give a damn about me to you?" _

_Ryan took a deep breath. "I live in the pool house – not the house. I'm still in the same place that I was when I first got there and was only supposed to stay for the weekend before I went into foster care. When you first got out and stayed with them, where did you stay? That's right, the pool house. As soon as you were gone, I went right back out there. I'm not even allowed a room in the main house!"_

Sandy and Seth both felt their hearts drop as they listened the to teen they both cared so much about declare that he meant nothing to them. They listened with sick stomachs as Ryan recited his plans after high school. Neither Sandy nor Seth had any idea that Ryan was thinking this way. Then the conversation turned back to Marissa.

Summer gasped when she heard Ryan say he didn't love her best friend. Seth cringed when he heard Ryan include him as a reason to date Marissa. Sandy, on the other hand, was furious. How dare Julie order Ryan to date her daughter because she couldn't get the girl to go to school!

Then came Trey's news. Ryan wasn't an Atwood at all! Sandy and Seth both knew that this would have hurt Ryan terribly. Their skin crawled with Trey's final statement: _"So I'll just be shooting the half of you that's not my brother." _Then they jumped at the sound of the gun going off.

Rick reached out and turned off the recorder. He was silent as he gave the other three some time to regain control of their emotions. Summer wasn't the only one in the room with tears streaked down their cheeks.

"Thank you for letting us hear this." Sandy said softly. "I can see that we have had a lot of miscommunications and misunderstandings. I never thought that Ryan could believe any of this." Sandy sighed. "But I can tell that he was being honest. Actually, the kid's a terrible liar."

Seth gave a weak smile and nodded. "Despite my best efforts to improve that particular skill... I've been a horrible brother."

"You didn't shoot him." Summer pointed out with a sniffle.

Seth glanced at his girlfriend. "I also didn't support him."

Summer remained silent. She knew that he was right. Instead she laid her head on his shoulder and let him hold her.

"What charges are Trey facing?" Sandy asked.

"We found drugs in the apartment. He'll get trafficking and weapons possession charges as well as attempted murder for shooting Ryan." Rick left out the fact that if Ryan didn't make it the charges would be changed to first degree murder.

Sandy nodded in satisfaction. "If there is nothing else, Detective, I would like to go wait for my son to get out of surgery."

"Of course. Let me know if there's anything I can do." Rick stated solemnly.

"Thank you." Sandy said as he stood and shook the other man's hand.

Rick nodded and then led the way out of the conference room. Summer's father was waiting for them outside. He looked concerned when he saw Summer's tears. Summer hugged Seth and told him that she would see him at the hospital. Then she and her father followed Detective Monroe back into the conference room.

It was very late when Sandy looked up to see a doctor he hadn't met standing in the doorway of the surgical waiting room. Seth had dozed off in the chair next to him, and Summer had settled against her boyfriend after begging her father to allow her to stay with the Cohen men until they heard whether Ryan would live through the night or not.

"Mr. Cohen? I'm Dr. Leidero. I operated on Ryan." The doctor introduced himself.

Sandy shook the other man's hand and waited anxiously to hear his news. By this time Seth was awake and both he and Summer were standing within hearing range.

"I removed the bullet from Ryan's chest. It was lodged against a rib, where it had settled after entering him. Unfortunately it nicked his lung and tore into his spleen before stopping. I was able to repair the lung, but the spleen was shredded. That means that Ryan will have to be very careful of infection in the future. We lost him a couple of times on the table, but we resuscitated him." The doctor explained.

"So he's going to be okay?" Seth asked.

Dr. Leidero took a deep breath. "Ryan's body has been through a great deal in the past few hours. I'm afraid Ryan has slipped into a coma." He paused as the other three gasped. "He is on a ventilator so that his lung can rest and heal. I'm sorry, but there is no way to know when Ryan will wake up."

"Do you have any ideas?" Sandy asked sadly.

The doctor shook his head. "No, it could be tomorrow, it could be a few weeks from now or… The human body is so complex that despite the advances made in modern medicine, there are still many things we can't begin to know. Unfortunately this is one of them. Ryan is being moved to ICU and one parent may stay with him at all times. Everyone else can only visit for ten minutes every hour. Someone will show you to his room when Ryan is settled."

"Thank you doctor." Sandy said softly.

Dr. Leidero smiled sadly and left them alone once again.

"This isn't happening." Seth stated to the silent room. Summer wrapped her arms around him and laid her head on his shoulder.

Sandy ran his hand through his hair. "So I guess we wait. At least he's still alive Seth. Let's be thankful for that."

"Are you going to call Mom?" Seth asked.

Sandy sighed. "She's not supposed to have any contact with us for the first forty-eight hours."

"Her kid is in a coma in the hospital and the doctors aren't sure he'll wake up. I think this circumvents those rules Dad. You heard what Ryan said. If Mom's not here when he wakes up, she'll never convince him that she cares about him." Seth pointed out.

Sandy sighed again. "I know. My problem is that I don't know how she feels after what she said today. This could do more harm than good."

Seth's eyes narrowed. "Mom was trying to defend herself and she was desperate. Do you really think that the woman you married and my mother would allow someone to live in her house for two years and not even care that he's in the hospital?"

"You're right. I don't know what I'm thinking." Sandy shook his head ruefully. "You should have seen her the day Ryan left with Theresa. She sat on his bed and held his sheets while she cried. Ryan is her son, and she should know what's going on. Stay here. I'm going to call her."

The teens watched as the distraught father left the waiting room.

"You're a good man, Cohen." Summer said softly.

"No, I'm just trying to make up for being such a lousy brother and friend. I'm never giving Ryan reason to doubt how important he is again." Seth declared.

Summer sighed and once again settled against him. Despite his self recriminations, Summer knew that Ryan couldn't ask for a better brother than Seth. She also knew that Ryan and Marissa were over, because despite misreading the situation with the Cohens, Ryan was spot on with Marissa's behavior. He deserved better.

Ryan opened his eyes, but all he could see was white. He sat up and felt of his chest where he knew the bullet had gone in. There was nothing there! Startled, Ryan looked around anxiously.

"Am I dead?" He asked aloud.

"No, not yet." A deep familiar voice answered.

Ryan's eyes widened and he met the cool blue eyes of Caleb Nichol. Frightened, Ryan pushed himself up and took a couple of shaky steps back from the man he had seen buried a couple of days before.

"You're dead." Ryan said in shock.

"You're observant." Caleb smiled slightly. It was the friendliest look the teen had ever received from the man.

"What's going on?" Ryan demanded.

Caleb sighed heavily. "You're in a coma Ryan. You have a choice. You can return to your body and fight to recover from the bullet wound, or you can let go and move on to the hereafter."

"So you're here to make sure I go ahead and die?" Ryan guessed, knowing how much the man hated him in life.

"Actually, I'm here to hopefully convince you to stay. I was very wrong about you Ryan. A lot of things are much clearer after death. One of those for me was how wrongly I had judged you. I saw you at Kirsten's intervention. I want to thank you for what you said. I know her words hurt you, but you still stood up and tried to protect her and get her the help she needed. I don't know that I could have been so strong." Caleb confessed.

Ryan watched the man warily, but said nothing.

Caleb nodded resignedly. "You don't believe me. I shouldn't expect you to after the way I badgered and belittled you. But I do love my daughter and my grandson. You have made both of their lives much better. It will break their hearts when they discover that you think they don't love you."

Ryan shook his head. "Now I know you're lying."

Caleb's eyebrows rose. "Am I?" He asked. He waved a hand and suddenly the whiteness swirled with color and a small darkened room appeared before them. Ryan didn't recognize the room, but he definitely knew the occupant.

"Kirsten." Ryan whispered as he watched the broken woman sob into her pillow. He took a step towards her with his hand out. He needed to comfort her.

Caleb's voice stopped him. "She can't see you, hear you or feel you. This is only an image of what is happening right now on earth."

Ryan turned back to watch his foster mother's sorrow. The scene was interrupted with a knock on the door.

"Mrs. Cohen? There's a phone call for you." The nurse stated softly as she came into the room.

Kirsten wiped her eyes and looked up fearfully. "I thought I wasn't supposed to have any calls for forty-eight hours."

"There's been an emergency come up. Dr. Woodruff is waiting in his office." The nurse informed her.

Concerned, Kirsten grabbed her robe and threw it on as she followed the other woman down the hallway. Ryan and Caleb stayed right with them. Kirsten was ushered into the office where Dr. Woodruff was on the phone.

"Here she is." He said into the receiver before handing the device to Kirsten.

"Hello?" Kirsten said hesitantly.

"Hey Baby."

"Sandy? What's wrong?" Kirsten demanded, knowing that by her husband's distraught voice that something bad had happened. "Is it the boys?"

A heavy sigh sounded on the other end. "Ryan got into an argument with Trey tonight. Trey pulled out a gun and shot Ryan in the chest."

Kirsten gasped and covered her mouth. Tears pooled once again in her eyes and trailed down her cheeks. "Is he…" Unable to say the word.

"His heart stopped a couple of times during surgery, but they were able to resuscitate him." Sandy confessed.

"So he's going to be alright?" Kirsten begged for reassurance.

Sandy paused, knowing the next part would be the hardest. "He slipped into a coma, Kirsten. The doctors don't know when or if he's going to wake up."

"Oh my God." Kirsten whispered as she collapsed into the chair behind her. "I need to see him Sandy. I need to be with him."

"I'll come get you." Sandy replied.

"No, I'll get a cab or something. Don't you dare leave him! I don't want Ryan waking up without us there. Oh God, what I said to him at the intervention. I never told him I didn't mean it. What he must think!" Kirsten exclaimed.

"The police had Trey's apartment bugged. They suspected him of dealing. I heard Ryan tell Trey that we only tolerated his presence. He thinks that he's my pet project and Seth's playmate." Sandy confessed, knowing it would tear Kirsten apart, but also knowing that she would hear about it and be furious that he didn't tell her.

"What does he think about me, Sandy? What did he tell Trey about my feelings?" Kirsten demanded, knowing it was going to be bad.

"He thinks that you can barely stand him." Sandy whispered.

Kirsten closed her eyes as pain like she had never known filled her heart. "I'm coming Sandy. You tell our son that I'm coming."

"I love you." Sandy replied softly.

"I love you too." Kirsten whispered before handing the receiver back to Dr. Woodruff.

"I need you to call me a cab." Kirsten declared tearfully.

"I'm sorry Kirsten, but I must insist that you stay to complete your treatment." Dr. Woodruff disagreed. "At this point you would be more of a hindrance."

Kirsten's eyes narrowed and she stood up to her full height. "Dr. Woodruff, do you have any children?"

Startled by the change in subject, the doctor nodded.

"And if one of your children, the one you just found out believes that you barely tolerate their presence when you love him more than life, was in a coma and not expected to live what would you do?" Kirsten asked coldly.

Dr. Woodruff sighed in defeat and nodded. "I'll drive you myself." He stated softly. "This is going to be a very difficult time for you."

"I know, but Ryan's mother abandoned him in preference of alcohol. He's my son now. I'm not about to do the same. I could stay here, and focus on myself like Dawn Atwood, or I could grow a spine and be there for my family – including my son Ryan – like the Nichol I am. I will return to complete my treatment, but not until Ryan is home and I'm sure he's going to be okay." Kirsten announced defiantly before whirling around and heading back to her room to gather her things.

Ryan's eyes were wide with awe as he watched his foster mother pack her belongings.

"I told you Kirsten would be upset at the thought that you don't understand how she feels about you." Caleb gently chided.

"I – I thought she was just nice to me like she was to the other women that she didn't like." Ryan whispered.

Caleb shook his head. "Kirsten can fake it for a few hours, but not day in and day out like you think. Kirsten has never hidden her feelings for you. I know you were aware of her disapproval when you first arrived. Of course I didn't make things easier for her when she did decide to make you part of her family."

"She hated to argue with you." Ryan said softly.

"I know." Caleb nodded sadly. "I wish every day that I could go back and tell Kirsten how proud I am of her. At least that's not something she learned from me. Trust me, when you wake up you'll hear 'I love you' so many times you'll be begging for a break."

"Never." Ryan whispered brokenly.

Caleb studied his adopted grandson for a moment before nodded. "You're right. You'll probably never take those words for granted."

"It's not the words. Dawn said them constantly – usually when she wanted something." Ryan shook his head.

"No, it's not just the words." Caleb agreed.

Ryan glanced at the older man for a moment before turning his attention back to the scene in front of him. They were in the back seat of Dr. Woodruff's car. Kirsten was in the passenger seat.

"Tell me what you're thinking Kirsten." Dr. Woodruff instructed quietly.

Kirsten gave a self-depreciating smile. "An impromptu session?"

The doctor shrugged. "We have a long drive. We might as well make it productive."

Kirsten nodded and ran her hand through her hair. "I'm thinking that if I hadn't become an alcoholic, Ryan wouldn't be lying in that hospital bed."

Ryan was startled at her declaration, and obviously so was Dr. Woodruff.

"Why would you say that?"

Kirsten began playing with her wedding rings. "If Sandy hadn't been taking me to Suriak, we would have been home to stop Ryan from going to Trey's. I never really approved of Ryan's brother, but I knew that Ryan wanted him to do well."

"Why didn't you like Trey?" The doctor asked the question Ryan wanted answered.

"When I met Ryan, I had a preconceived idea of what he was really like. I found out very quickly how wrong I was. I realized that Ryan was a great kid who just needed someone to finally love him and be his mother. Even that first night, when I was so against bringing Ryan into the house, I could see that he wasn't cruel. It's in his eyes. They were so hurt and scared despite Ryan's attempts to look tough. Ryan may have been caught stealing a car, but he has an integrity that is extremely rare." Kirsten explained.

"And Trey isn't like that?" Dr. Woodruff assumed.

Kirsten shook her head. "Not at all. He's everything I expected from Ryan that first night. Like I said before – it's the eyes. Trey has a cold edge to him that makes me nervous. I wanted to lock Ryan and Seth away until I could get him out of there. I even urged Sandy to keep him away from the boys, but Sandy said I was overreacting again like with Ryan. I wish I had been wrong."

"You can't be responsible for someone else's actions." The doctor pointed out.

"No, I'm not responsible for Trey shooting Ryan. But I am responsible for not being there when Ryan needed me. I am also responsible for causing someone I love to think that I barely tolerate them. You heard what I said to him at the intervention. I have never in my life wished I could take anything back so badly." Kirsten explained.

Dr. Woodruff was quiet as he pulled into the hospital parking lot. "Please call when you're ready to come back." He said as Kirsten got out of the car with her bag.

"I will. And thank you." Kirsten's attempt at a smile fell short so she nodded and hurried in to the hospital, anxious to find her son.

"Still think she just tolerates you?" Caleb asked.

Ryan shook his head. "I wish she wouldn't blame herself. None of this was her fault."

"So you would have gone anyway if she told you not to?" Caleb questioned.

Ryan sighed and shook his head. "No, not if Kirsten asked."

Caleb smiled in satisfaction. "If you were so wrong about my daughter, do you think that you could be wrong about Sanford and Seth?"

Ryan cut his eyes at the older man before nodding reluctantly. "Yeah, I can't believe I misread Kirsten so badly."

"You've never had anyone just accept you for you before. You've been used and abused your entire life until this point. It's no wonder that you couldn't see that things were different now." Caleb shrugged.

Ryan nodded and watched as Kirsten hurried into his hospital room and straight into Sandy's arms.

"How is he?" Kirsten asked, moving over to the bed and running her fingers lovingly through his hair.

"No change." Sandy informed her sadly.

Kirsten leaned forward and kissed her son's forehead. "I love you Ryan. Please come back to us so that I can make things right between us."

Ryan stared down at his foster mother as she hovered over him. Even Dawn had never been so gentle and caring. How could he have been so blind?

"Do you know what it would do to her if you died – what it would do to all of them?" Caleb asked from beside him.

Ryan nodded. "I want to go back. I can't hurt them like that." He declared as he glanced over to see Sandy and Seth watching sadly from the corner of the room.

Caleb smiled. "Good boy. Oh, and tell KiKi I'm proud of her."

Those were the last words Ryan heard before he fell into darkness.

TBC…


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Julie Cooper-Nichol came waltzing into the hospital with her daughter beside her. Marissa had begged the entire week to be allowed to go see Ryan. Despite her gratitude to the boy for getting Marissa back in school, Julie wasn't exactly thrilled that her daughter was so focused on the brother of her attacker. As far as Julie was concerned, all Atwoods were trash.

The Cooper women walked into the ICU waiting room to see Sandy and Seth talking with Carson and Luke Ward. The four men looked up as they entered.

"Julie? What are you doing here?" Sandy asked, standing to greet them.

"I needed to see Ryan." Marissa declared through tears.

Julie didn't miss the way that Sandy's jaw tightened. If she didn't know any better, Julie would think that Sandy didn't approve of Marissa!

"It's almost visiting time again." Sandy informed them, glancing up at the clock on the wall. "Everyone gets ten minutes once an hour."

"That's all? But I'm his girlfriend!" Marissa protested.

Sandy's eyes narrowed. "And I'm his father."

Trying to keep Marissa from angering him even more, Julie spoke up. "Does Kirsten know?"

Sandy looked at Julie in surprise. "Kirsten has been here since the first night."

Now Julie was the one surprised. "I thought she went to Suriak."

"Her son is in a coma; of course Kirsten would come home." Sandy informed her.

"But Ryan isn't really her son. Shouldn't Kirsten be focusing on getting better for you and Seth?" Julie protested.

Sandy's eyes narrowed in fury. He took Julie by her elbow. "Come with me." He whispered harshly in her ear. Turning back to Seth, Sandy called out that they'd be right back.

"Sandy, what on earth?" Julie exclaimed as Sandy led her through large double doors after flashing an ID card.

He led her to a large window and faced her up to it. "There! Look in there and then tell me that Ryan isn't our son!" Sandy whispered furiously.

Julie gulped and then peered into the window. It revealed a small hospital room dominated by a bed which was surrounded by several beeping machines and one that swished rhythmically. Ryan was lying completely still. His eyes were closed and his mouth was invaded by a large tube. Multiple tubes and wires seemed to run from every part of his body that wasn't covered by the blanket. Even more lines disappeared under the covers. Pulled up against the bed was a large chair. Kirsten was curled up sound asleep with her hand clutching Ryan's.

"She hasn't left his side except to use the restroom. I have to bring her meals here. She won't even let me give her a break. Kirsten's scared Ryan will wake up and she won't be here, or that he'll slip away and she won't have been with him to say goodbye." Sandy said sadly, his eyes full of tears as he stared at two of the most important people in his world.

Julie stared at the scene of mother and son. "What about Ryan's birth mother?"

Sandy's gaze hardened. "Dawn said that there was nothing she could do for him, and to let her know when the funeral was."

Julie looked up at the man in surprise. "She wouldn't even come?"

"Dawn abandoned Ryan. What did you think she would do? To be honest, I'm glad she stayed away. She has never done anything but hurt Ryan." Sandy confessed. "You cannot say anything to Kirsten, Ryan or Seth like you did to me in the waiting room. Ryan is our son and Seth's brother."

"I couldn't help but notice you weren't exactly happy to see Marissa." Julie commented nonchalantly.

Sandy's jaw tightened. "When Oliver pulled out a gun, Marissa didn't call the police, or even her parents for help. She called my sixteen year old son. Then Trey attacked her, once again Marissa hid from the adults who could actually do something to help her. Ryan could have been in that bed last year as well as now, and both times were due to Marissa mishandling a situation. If – when Ryan wakes up, what will it be next? Ryan is a kid. He shouldn't be protecting Marissa. That's not his job." Sandy turned his cold eyes on Julie. "And you had no right to insist that he get back together with her so that Marissa would go to school."

Julie literally gulped. "When did he tell you?"

"He didn't. He told Trey and the police had the apartment wired. He was explaining to Trey that he hadn't loved Marissa ever since she betrayed him with Oliver, but that he felt obligated to help you or he knew you would try to get him thrown back into juvie or foster care." Sandy informed her stonily. His gaze seemed to pierce her. "You will not say 'boo' to Ryan do you understand me? When Ryan breaks up with Marissa, you will not approach him about her again. It would be a shame for Newport to discover just how you and Jimmy really met, wouldn't it?"

Julie gasped. "Are you threatening me?"

"You'll find that you aren't the only one who will do anything to protect their kids. I have never said anything about your friendship with Kirsten, but you'll learn out how quickly this town can turn on you if Kirsten was to find out about how you used Ryan. She is a Nichol after all." Sandy stated calmly.

Julie shivered at Sandy's frosty tone. She turned her eyes back to the room just in time to see Kirsten rouse up and anxiously check that everything was still okay for Ryan before standing and brushing his hair from his face. She gently kissed his forehead before settling back into her chair and taking her son's hand once again. Julie couldn't hear her, but Kirsten seemed to be talking to him.

"The doctors told us there was a chance Ryan could hear us. Kirsten has talked herself hoarse several times." Sandy explained. He glanced at his watch. "Come on, it's almost visiting time. Seth will be upset if he doesn't get to see Ryan soon."

Julie nodded silently and followed Sandy back to the waiting room.

Seth met them at the door. "Dad, it's almost time." He informed them unnecessarily.

"I know Seth. You and I will go back first. Maybe we can get your mother to take a break." Sandy suggested.

Seth rolled his eyes. "Not very likely."

"Wait, I thought we were only able to spend ten minutes with him. How come Mrs. Cohen is with Ryan already?" Marissa demanded.

Seth stared hard at the girl. "Because a parent can stay with him all the time."

Julie grabbed Marissa's arm and pulled her to a chair while shooting Sandy an apologetic look.

"Come on, Son let's go see your brother." Sandy declared, draping his arm over Seth's shoulders.

"Mom, why did you do that?" Marissa exclaimed once the Cohen men had left.

"Because you were one more remark away from Sandy banning you from the room!" Julie whispered harshly.

"What? Sandy wouldn't do that!" Marissa scoffed.

"You listen and listen good. Sandy isn't exactly your biggest fan right now, so I'd be very careful if I were you." Julie warned.

Marissa's eyes widened. "Why would Sandy be mad at me?"

Julie narrowed her eyes. "Maybe he has a problem with you getting in trouble and calling Ryan to rescue you. He's still pissed that you called Ryan when Oliver pulled out that gun instead of the police or even your father and I. Now you hid Trey's attack and it led to Ryan confronting his brother and getting shot. Trust me, Marissa you do not want to mess with Sandy Cohen right now."

Marissa stared at her mother in shock. "None of that was my fault!" She protested.

"Hey! Did I miss visiting time?" A voice asked from the doorway of the waiting room.

Julie and Marissa turned to see Summer coming in. She stopped and her eyes widened when she spotted the Cooper women.

"Coop! Um, what are you doing here?" Summer asked.

"I'm here to visit my boyfriend." Marissa answered, going over to the petite brunette and giving her a hug.

"Okay." Summer replied slowly. "So did Sandy and Cohen go back?"

"Just a moment ago." Luke answered from his chair.

"Hey! Cohen said you were coming. When did you get here?" Summer asked as she gave Luke a quick hug.

"We just got in about thirty minutes ago. Have been in to see Ryan yet?" Luke asked.

"Yeah, I've tried to come by a few times a day. He looks pretty rough. He's hooked up to all kinds of machines and he's on a vent, so there's a tube down his throat. They come in twice a day and move him around so that his muscles won't atrophy." Summer nodded. "Kirsten is with him every secind, so she does most of the stretching for him."

"It's hard to imagine Ryan like that." Luke said sadly.

"I know." Summer agreed. "Cohen is taking it really hard. He loves his brother."

"Too bad Trey didn't feel the same." Luke grumbled.

"Trey is a monster." Marissa scoffed coming over to them and sitting in the chair next to Summer.

Summer and Luke both exchanged uncomfortable looks, but Marissa wasn't really paying attention. "He'll go away for a long time for what he did to me." Marissa continued.

Julie shook her head at her daughter's faux pas. She hadn't realized just how oblivious Marissa could be, although her experience with Oliver should have been a clue.

"Yeah, whatever you say." Luke muttered trying to remember a time when he even liked his ex-girlfriend.

The teens all looked up as Sandy and Seth came back into the room. Seth moved immediately to meet Summer in the middle of the room. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair. Summer just smoothed her hands over his back and held him tight as he struggled to regain control of his emotions.

Sandy cleared his throat and fought to keep back his own tears. "Whoever wants to go next better get going."

Luke glanced over at Summer questioningly.

"Go ahead with Marissa. I'll see him in a little while." She whispered to her old friend.

Luke nodded and motioned for Marissa to precede him. The teens walked down the hall together and stopped for a second at the window. Marissa choked back a sob when she caught sight of her boyfriend. Luke clenched his hands and tightened his jaw. He kept repeating to himself that he wouldn't cry. The last time he had seen his former enemy, they had been playing video games in Portland. He had noticed the amused looks that Ryan would shoot him while he overreacted to the characters on the screen.

Kirsten spotted the teens and gave them a soft smile. She motioned for them to come into the room. Luke led the way and found he almost had to push Marissa ahead of him to get her to go into the room.

"Hey." Kirsten greeted them softly. She turned to Ryan. "You've got some more visitors Sweetie. Luke and Marissa are here."

Luke moved to stand next to the bed. "Hey man." He said hoarsely. "I came as soon as I could. I just want you to know that you've got a lot of people hoping you wake up before too much longer."

He glanced back at a tearful Kirsten. The older woman smiled at him.

"Tell him about your flight down or about school or your plans for the summer." Kirsten suggested, understanding that the teen didn't know what to say.

Luke nodded and gave her a grateful look. "There was this really crazy dude on the flight down..."

Marissa stood next to the door and stared at her boyfriend in shock as Luke did his best to talk to his silent friend. She couldn't believe how vulnerable Ryan looked. He was always so strong and tough. Now he was so still and small in that bed with a tube coming out of his mouth. Despite her earlier demands to visit, all Marissa wanted at the moment was to get as far from that room as quickly as she could. She glanced over to see Kirsten looking at her with curious eyes.

Kirsten motioned her son's girlfriend over to her. Marissa hesitated and then came.

"I know it's hard to see him like this, but he needs us to be strong and take care of him." Kirsten said softly.

Marissa swallowed hard. "He's just so fragile looking."

"He always was fragile – he just hid it very well." Kirsten pointed out. "Ryan was never bullet proof."

Marissa realized in that moment that her mother was right. The Cohens weren't happy with how she always called Ryan to save her.

"Marissa? Did you want to talk to Ryan?" Luke asked softly as he moved away from the bed. "We'll have to leave soon."

Marissa glanced at the mother of her boyfriend and then cut her eyes away as she shook her head "no".

Luke gave her a disappointed look before turning his attention back to Ryan. "Hey man, we need to jet. Summer's raring to come talk your ear off and we know you'll need all of your energy for that little spitfire."

Kirsten grinned at Luke's accurate description of Seth's girlfriend and nodded. Luke bumped his fist against Ryan's still hand and then after giving Kirsten a quick hug, he ushered Marissa out of the room. When they arrived at the waiting room, Marissa rushed over to her mother and threw herself into the other woman's arms, sobbing harshly.

Luke just shook his head and turned his attention to Summer and Seth, who were standing and waiting for them to return.

"She didn't say anything to him. She just stood to the side of the room and stared at him." Luke whispered to them.

Seth shot Marissa a disgusted look and then took Summer's hand. "Come on, let's go see him."

Luke returned to his seat next to Carson.

"How bad did he look?" Carson asked softly.

"He didn't look weird or anything. It was almost like he was sleeping, except for all the tubes and wires." Luke informed him. "It's still tough to see him like that."

"Come on, it's going to be a while before you can see him again. Why don't we go get something to eat?" Carson suggested.

Luke nodded his agreement and after saying goodbye to Sandy, the Ward men left the hospital.

"Come on Sweetie, let's go home." Julie urged her still crying daughter.

Marissa nodded pitifully and followed her mother out of the room without even glancing at Sandy.

Sandy took a deep breath and sat down in a chair to wait for Seth and Summer to come back out. He didn't begrudge Seth time with his brother, Sandy spent many hours just standing at the window to the room when no one else could go near. He had been given permission to stand there so that they wouldn't be breaking hospital policy, but it still allowed Sandy to see his son.

It had been two weeks since Ryan had slipped into the coma. Kirsten was sitting next to Ryan – where she had stayed since arriving at the hospital. It had also been two weeks since she had a drink. It just didn't seem so important anymore in the scheme of things.

Sandy had come in to give her a bathroom break when there was movement on the bed. Kirsten and Sandy's eyes widened in shock as they watched Ryan's fingers move again.

"Ryan?" Kirsten spoke softly as she took her son's hand. "Sweetheart, can you hear me?"

Ryan moved his head slightly, and then his eyes opened to small slits.

Kirsten and Sandy both grinned through their tears. "Hey there Kiddo." Sandy greeted gently.

Ryan glanced around the room. That was when he became aware that he had something controlling his breathing – Ryan panicked.

"Ryan! Honey, calm down! It's just a tube that's helping you breathe. It's not hurting you! Please Sweetheart! Just relax and let the machine do all the work!" Kirsten urgently tried to calm her son down.

The nurses came flooding into the room as the alarm let them know that something was different.

"Hello Ryan! I'm Sarah." One of the nurses said cheerfully. "You're mother told me that you had beautiful blue eyes, and she was certainly right about that. Can you slow down and try to breathe with the machine for just a little while? The doctor is on his way and if we all ask nicely, maybe he'll take that tube out."

Ryan tried to relax and let the vent do the work, but he was having a difficult time with it. After what seemed like an eternity to everyone in the room, Dr. Russell came into the room. He had acquired Ryan's case from Dr. Leidero after the surgery.

"Hello Ryan, welcome back. What do you say we try to get rid of this tube?" The doctor asked truthfully. "I'm going to need Mom and Dad to give us a moment."

Sandy and Kirsten nodded and told Ryan they would be right back. The moment they were out of the room, Kirsten moved into her husband's waiting arms. She sobbed into his chest. Sandy knew it was just emotional release from Ryan finally waking up and he smoothed his hands over her back as he allowed his own tears to flow.

"It's okay to come back in now." Sarah announced as she stuck her head outside the door.

Sandy nodded and helped Kirsten wipe away her tears. With a deep breath, the parents walked into their son's hospital room.

Ryan was sitting up and a nurse was feeding him chips of ice. The vent was turned off and moved into a corner. A few of the other tubes and wires that Kirsten had memorized were also missing. Ryan looked up when he heard them come into the room. His eyes were uncertain as he stared at his foster parents.

Kirsten was the first to break down. "Oh thank God!" She exclaimed as she hurried to Ryan's side and pulled him into her arms. She had done this enough so that she was able to avoid the multiple tubes still attached to Ryan.

Ryan reached up weakly and returned the hug. "I'm okay." He croaked softly, his voice rough from the breathing tube.

Kirsten stood up and placed her hands on each side of his face. She stared deep into his eyes with her own. "I want you to listen very carefully." She began.

Ryan just nodded slightly.

"I am very sorry for what I said during the intervention." Kirsten apologized. She felt him stiffen at the mention of that day. "I was desperate to say anything to make you stop. Thank you for caring enough about me to tell me how my alcoholism was affecting you. I love you very much Ryan. I didn't give birth to you, but you are my son. Don't ever doubt how important you are to me. Do you understand?"

"Yes." Ryan whispered as tears filled his eyes.

"Good." Kirsten gave him a kiss on the forehead and then another hug. "I am so glad that you're okay." She exclaimed softly.

Ryan smiled uncertainly. He was a little overwhelmed with all the emotions.

Sandy stepped up and Kirsten allowed him access. "How are you feeling?" His foster father asked.

"Fine." Ryan croaked.

Sandy grimaced at the gravelly sound. "I doubt that very seriously, but I'll let it go this time." He sighed and settled his hand on Ryan's shoulder. "We need to have a very long talk about coming to us when you have a problem instead of trying to handle it all yourself, but that's for another day."

Ryan gave his guardian a puzzled look.

"We almost lost you Kid, and that is unacceptable. We love you too much to have anything happen to you. I'm proud that you want to help people, but like I told you once last year. We're the parents now, and despite the fact that we've been a couple of screw ups lately, that doesn't change the fact that you're our son and we love you." Sandy declared with tears in his eyes.

TBC…


	4. Chapter 4

**HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!**

Chapter 4

Ryan felt like he woke up in a different world. He closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, Kirsten was still in the room, but so was Seth. Ryan glanced around for Sandy, but he wasn't there.

"Hey sleepyhead." Seth grinned.

"Huh?" Ryan asked. He became aware of his thirst.

The nurses had warned her after Ryan fell asleep that he would want ice chips when he awoke. He still wasn't allowed water, but these would help soothe him. Kirsten came closer and spooned an ice chip into Ryan's greedy mouth. The teen sighed as the ice coated his tongue with water, but it never lasted long enough, and he was left feeling dry once again.

"The doctor said that you can try some water tomorrow." Kirsten assured her son as she fed him another ice chip.

"It's good to see you awake man." Seth spoke up.

Ryan looked over at his foster brother questioningly. "I just closed my eyes for a minute." Ryan protested.

Seth grinned. "Actually you woke up yesterday. Turns out that being unconscious can exhaust you – who knew?"

Ryan was disconcerted that he had lost so much time. "How long?" He croaked.

"How long were you unconscious?" Seth verified.

Ryan nodded.

Seth sighed and glanced up at his mother before answering. "You were in a coma for two weeks."

Ryan stared at his foster brother in shock. "You're still here?" He asked softly.

Now it was Seth's turn to stare. "Dude, you're my brother and you were in a coma. Where the hell do you think I would be?" Then Seth held up his hand. "No, don't answer that. I guess I haven't exactly been the best brother in the world."

"You didn't shoot me." Ryan pointed out with a slight grin.

"Yeah, I suppose I get points for that at least." Seth nodded. He stared down at his hands before looking up. "I heard what you said." He began.

Ryan looked at him in confusion.

"The police had Trey's place wired. They recorded the entire conversation." Seth explained. "I know that you didn't think we cared about you and that you were just there for our convenience, but you're so wrong. You're so wrong that I don't know if it's even measurable."

Seth paused as Ryan tried to remember what all he had said to Trey. "You believed that I just saw you as a playmate to throw away when the notion struck me, and that you were Dad's good deed, and Mom just barely tolerated you. For someone so smart when you blow it, you do it with nuclear proportions."

Just then the door opened and Sandy came into the room. His eyes lit up when he saw that Ryan was awake. "Hey Kid!" It was then he noticed the somber mood in the room. "What's wrong?"

"We were just discussing Ryan's ginormously bad read on his place in the Cohen household." Seth informed him. "Pull up a chair."

Sandy frowned. "Seth, this is only the second time Ryan's been awake. Are you sure this is the best time?"

"The fact that he's awake and able to misread this family dynamic even worse makes this the perfect time in my opinion." Seth argued.

"You're right." Sandy sighed. "We need to get this taken care of first thing."

"Now, back to what I was saying." Seth began.

"You don't have to say anything." Ryan interrupted.

"Obviously I do, or you wouldn't have told Trey that you were saving money for when you turned eighteen and no longer had a place to live." Seth disagreed.

Ryan shook his head. "No, I mean I don't believe that anymore."

Seth raised an eyebrow. "And what exactly changed while you were unconscious?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." Ryan shook his head.

"You do realize you just said that to a kid who talks to his plastic horse, right?" Seth stated dryly.

"Good point." Ryan agreed, in his normal straight faced way. "After Trey shot me, I woke up in a white room. Caleb was there."

Kirsten gasped as Ryan mentioned her father.

"Yeah, I was a little freaked out." Ryan nodded. "He told me I was at a crossroads and I could either come back, or I could go on and die."

"Good thing you didn't listen to him." Seth stated.

"Actually, I did listen to him. He wanted me to come back." Ryan took pleasure in the shock on Seth's face. "He told me that I was wrong thinking that you guys didn't care about me. Then he showed me Kirsten at Suriak. We were with you when Sandy called and told you about Trey shooting me. It was awesome the way you stood up to Dr. Woodruff." Ryan informed Kirsten.

Kirsten smiled through her tears as she remembered her words.

"Then we were in the backseat of the car while you and the doctor were talking. I just wanted you to know that it wasn't your fault that Trey shot me. Even if it might not have happened that night, who's to say Trey wouldn't have hurt me later?" Ryan told his foster mother.

Kirsten grabbed Ryan's hand and squeezed it tightly. "I'm still sorry." She whispered.

"I forgive you." Ryan replied squeezing her hand back. "After I saw all that, I realized how wrong I had been. I knew that you loved me. Then Caleb pointed out that if I was so wrong about you, then maybe I was mistaken about Sandy and Seth too."

"You better believe you were Kid." Sandy declared and came to stand on Ryan's other side to take his free hand. "You're my son, just as much as Seth is. I'm just as proud and I love you just as much."

"Aw, what a beautiful family moment." Seth wiped away a fake tear.

The other three chuckled and Sandy pulled Seth to his side. "Come here you comedian."

"Yes, that's me, the comic relief." Seth nodded proudly.

Sandy wrapped his arm around his son's shoulders and held Ryan's hand. "Every family needs one." Sandy stated. "And that's what we all are – a family."

Ryan sighed in contentment as he looked around his private hospital room. Home would be best, but this sure beat ICU. It had been three days since "The Talk" as the Cohen family referred to Ryan's acceptance of his place in the family. He didn't know if he could ever go so far as to call Sandy and Kirsten "Dad" and "Mom", but he definitely felt like their son. He wasn't allowed to forget it. Not with the way Sandy and Kirsten were constantly hovering over him and Seth kept inserting the word "brother" into conversations. Ryan smiled as Kirsten put a straw in his bottle of water. Just like he told Caleb, he never got tired of it.

A knock on the door caught their attention. Marissa stood awkwardly in the doorway. Kirsten glanced at Ryan, and he gave her a pleading look. His mother sighed and nodded as she handed him his bottle of water before leaving the two teens alone.

"I don't think Kirsten likes me very much." Marissa began.

"She's protective." Ryan shrugged, setting the water on the tray next to his bed.

"She acts like I've come to attack you or something." Marissa complained.

Ryan sighed. "Why are you here Marissa?"

Marissa came across the room and took Ryan's hand. "I've missed you."

"I've been right here." Ryan replied, pulling his hand back and reaching for his water before taking a sip.

"I know, but the Cohens have really been restricting everyone from visiting." Marissa whined.

"Summer has been here every day." Ryan pointed out calmly.

Marissa's eyes narrowed. "Are you trying to start a fight?"

Ryan sighed. "What do you want Marissa?"

"I wanted to visit my boyfriend." Marissa almost growled.

"My girlfriend would have been here to see me more often than my brother's girlfriend." Ryan informed her. "Let's be honest with each other. I'm only your boyfriend when it's convenient. Now that I'm not in ICU with a machine breathing for me, you have no problem coming by. But when I might have actually needed your support, you were busy elsewhere."

"My mother wasn't letting me out." Marissa lied.

Ryan stared hard at the girl in front of him. "That's why you were out double dating with Holly and Chip the night before last?"

"Who told you that? It's a lie!" Marissa did growl this time.

"I doubt that Sandy was lying to me. He was out getting takeout for the family so that we could all eat together. He didn't recognize the guy you were with. Did someone new arrive in town?" Ryan declared coldly. "Go home Marissa. I think it would be better if we kept our distance from now on."

Marissa's eyes filled with tears. "I never meant to hurt you." She whispered.

"That's the problem, Marissa. You never mean any of it, yet it hurts just the same. I can't do this anymore. I don't trust you and you obviously don't trust me. I think it's better if we cut our losses." Ryan replied wearily.

Marissa leaned forward to kiss him, but Ryan turned his head and she only bussed his cheek. With a sob, the girl gave Ryan a wounded look and left the room.

Ryan sighed heavily and leaned back into the pillows. He was exhausted. Everything seemed to tire him out so easily since he woke up. What had been especially tiring had been giving his statement to Detective Monroe the day before. They were gathering the evidence for Trey's trial. Ryan dreaded the event, but he was aware that it was necessary. Already, he had received a call from Dawn begging him to drop the charges against Trey, but Ryan refused. Trey had pulled out a gun and shot him at point blank range in the chest. Ryan was through covering for him.

After her third call and Frank Atwood's second, Sandy had changed his number and restricted the people who were allowed to know it. Ryan had basically written off the Atwoods. Sandy offered to help Ryan find his real father, but it was a virtually impossible task, so Ryan told him not to bother. Sandy Cohen was his father and anyone else was nothing more than a sperm donor. Both Sandy and Ryan had fought tears during that conversation.

Ryan's eyes opened when he heard Kirsten come back in the room. "Are you okay?" She asked softly.

"I broke up with her." Ryan informed his mom.

Kirsten came over to the bed and sat on the edge. "You still didn't answer my question." She pointed out.

Ryan looked at her and smiled. "Yeah, I think I am."

"I'm glad." Kirsten replied softly, squeezing his hand. "I just ran into Dr. Russell. He says that if you keep doing so well, they'll send you home within the next couple of days."

"That's some very good news." Ryan smiled in relief.

"I thought you'd like that. There's something that Sandy and I wanted to talk to you about." Kirsten mentioned.

"Then I guess it's a good thing I'm here." A voice declared from the doorway.

Kirsten's face lit up when she saw Sandy standing there. "Hey!"

Sandy came over and gave her a quick kiss. "What is with you and Seth starting important conversations without me?"

"Sorry, it just seemed to come up." Kirsten apologized.

Ryan looked back and forth in confusion.

"One of the things that you told Trey was that you didn't feel like part of the family because you were still in the pool house. There was a reason that we didn't ask you to move into the house." Sandy began.

Ryan looked at his parents nervously.

Seeing his anxiety, Kirsten took his hand. "Honey, the reason we didn't offer to move you into the house was that we knew you had a problem with heights. We didn't want you to feel obligated to move into the house and then not be comfortable in your own room because the window was so high up."

Ryan stared at his guardians in shock, "Really?"

"Really. We realize now that we should have given you the choice. Honestly Kid, we had no idea that you would ever think we didn't consider you part of the family." Sandy vowed.

Ryan smiled. Even though he had believed them when they said they loved him, the issue about the room had stuck in the back of his head.

"So here's our proposal. While you're still recovering, we don't want you outside at the pool house anyway. There's too much of a chance for you to need us and we wouldn't hear you. So we want you to move into the upstairs bedroom next to Seth. After the doctor says that you're healthy, you can choose to stay in the bedroom or, if the height makes you uncomfortable, then you can move back into the pool house." Sandy offered.

"That sounds great." Ryan agreed.

"I need you to make me a promise, Kid." Sandy stated seriously. "Next time we do or don't do something that bothers you or makes you question your place then I want you to come to one of us and ask about it. As for our part, we'll try to be a lot more communicative with our decisions so that you can give us your opinion." Sandy proposed.

"That's fair." Ryan nodded.

Sandy smiled. "Excellent!"

Ryan yawned wide and then blushed slightly as his parents chuckled.

"I think it's time for a nap. You've had a couple of rough conversations." Kirsten instructed as she helped Ryan lower his bed to a comfortable sleeping position. She brushed his hair away from his forehead and placed a kiss on his warm skin.

Ryan smiled contentedly. He didn't think he'd ever get tired of having a mother take care of him. Sandy patted his leg.

"Sleep well Kid. We'll be here when you wake up." Sandy promised.

Ryan nodded and closed his eyes. Moments later, his breathing deepened they knew he was asleep.

"What was the other difficult conversation Ryan had today?" Sandy whispered softly from the other side of the room.

Kirsten sighed. "Marissa came by to see him. Ryan broke up with her."

"Is it wrong to feel relieved about that?" Sandy asked.

"If it is, then I'm right there with you." Kirsten smiled as she cuddled into her husband.

Sandy kissed the side of her head. "Dr. Woodruff called today. He was asking when you planned to come up."

Kirsten sighed heavily. "As soon as Ryan is settled at home I plan to go. I spoke with Dr. Russell today, so if everything goes well, I should be ready by the end of the week."

"I'm going to miss you." Sandy told her softly.

"I'll miss you too, but I need to do this. I don't ever want Ryan to deal with another drunk mother again." Kirsten said determinedly.

"I know." Sandy replied sadly.

The couple sat in the darkened room and watched their son sleep.

A/N: This is the final chapter, there will be a short epilogue following tomorrow…


	5. Epilogue

**A/N: Thanks for all of your wonderful reviews. I'm usually very busy so I don't always have time to respond to them all, but you can be sure that I truly enjoy reading them!**

Epilogue

"Hi, my name is Kirsten and I'm an alcoholic."

"Hello Kirsten." The group replied.

Kirsten smiled tentatively. "This is my last group session here. Tomorrow I go home to my husband and my boys." She held up a small picture that was encased in clear plastic. It showed Sandy with his arms around Seth and Ryan.

I'm a little nervous, but I know that I have to be strong for my family. Ryan, my son, was injured recently and I stayed with him in the hospital until he was able to come home before seeking treatment here. I knew that I needed this so that I could remain sober for all of them." Kirsten explained.

"I think I began to turn to alcohol in order to forget that I would never be able to please my father. I worked for his company and even moved my family from Berkley to Newport because he wanted us to. It didn't matter…"

"It was never enough." Another woman cut in. "Oh! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to interrupt. I had the same problem."

Kirsten gave the other woman an understanding smile and nodded. "Yes, it was never enough. Anyway, I recently received a letter that my father wrote when he was still alive. He told me that he was sorry that he was too weak to say the words, but that he loved me and he was always proud of me." Kirsten twisted the message from Caleb into a letter form. She didn't think anyone would accept that he told her son who was dying.

"So how do you feel now Kirsten?" Dr. Woodruff asked.

"I feel liberated. I'm nervous about what is to come, but I know that my husband and my sons will never have to wonder if I love them or if I'm proud of them. That's one thing I did learn from my father – just how important it is to hear those words." Kirsten smiled. "I'm aware that I'll have to take each day one at a time and I'll always have to fight the urge to pick up just that one glass of wine, but I also know that I always want my boys to look at me with respect and know that they are safe with me. So I think that I'll be able to say 'no'."

The other women in the group smiled and Dr. Woodruff nodded. "I'm very proud of you Kirsten. You came here and you were determined to beat this disease back. I'm sure that your family is proud of you as well."

"Thank you." Kirsten smiled softly.

A few hours later, Kirsten was in her room, packing her clothes into her bag. A knock on the door made her look up. The other blonde from the group meeting was standing in the doorway.

"I apologize for bothering you, but I was hoping we could talk for a moment. I'm Charlotte Morgan."

Kirsten smiled and invited the other woman to sit in one of the two overstuffed chairs located in the corner of the room. The walls here were covered in colorful drawings and beautiful landscapes and buildings.

"You have eclectic tastes." Charlotte commented.

Kirsten chuckled. "No, I have two very different sons."

At Charlotte's confused look, Kirsten went on to explain. "Seth, my oldest, draws comic books – or as he likes to call them – 'graphic novels'. Ryan, on the other hand, is a budding architect. He's also the one who did the landscapes. He likes to work with water colors. Most of his work is from around the house. He wanted to keep me from getting too homesick."

Charlotte studied Kirsten's wistful expression. "I wanted to talk to you before you left. I'll be leaving in a few days myself, and I was hoping you would share your secret."

Kirsten looked at her questioningly.

Charlotte shrugged sheepishly. "You just seemed so confident. This is actually my second time here. It's so much harder to stay sober out there."

"Oh I'm just as nervous as the next person. So you had a difficult time?" Kirsten asked anxiously.

Charlotte fought to keep the satisfied grin off her face. "I was fine for a few weeks, but then I had a rough day, and the next thing I knew, I was reaching for the vodka bottle."

Kirsten swallowed uneasily. "I can see where that would be a problem."

"When you were talking about your father, I felt like you were reading my mind. I didn't want to relapse again, so I thought about going up to my family's cabin in the mountains. I was hoping that someone else would come with me so maybe we could be our own support group. With our similar backgrounds, I thought we might be able to help each other." Charlotte explained.

The other woman was hitting all of Kirsten's insecurities, and it was on the tip of her tongue to say yes when she glanced down at the picture in her hand. Her family's faces were smiling back at her. Kirsten looked up at her boys' artwork. Seth's drawing of their first Chrismukkah card together, and then the painting that Ryan sent of the scene from her bedroom windows. He had even signed it "With love, your son Ryan". He had been on the phone with her that morning telling her how excited they all were that she was coming home, and how much he missed her. She couldn't bear to let him down now.

"I'm sorry, Charlotte, but my family is too excited about me coming home. If I went with you I would be disappointing them right away." Kirsten declined.

Charlotte bit her lower lip. "What if you went home for a couple of days and then came up?"

Kirsten shook her head. "Ryan is still recovering. I actually left before I wanted to. I need to be there for them. Besides I would miss them so much I wouldn't be very supportive. Maybe someone else will go with you."

Charlotte forced a smile on her face, "Perhaps."

Kirsten stood and shook her hand. "Good luck! It was nice to meet you."

"You too," Charlotte replied before leaving the room.

Kirsten looked after her uncertainly before glancing down at the small picture in her hand. She smiled knowing she had made the right decision. Kirsten was going home to her family.

**Finis**


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